You can bugger a Snuffer for just a few candles,
Or grab Overgoat's horns and then use them as handles,
You can bugger a zailor right in his port of call,
But the Starveling Cat can't be buggered at all.
You can bugger an artist (though he will come back),
And you can trust a spy to be great in the sack,
You can bugger Feducci after a good brawl,
But the Starveling Cat can't be buggered at all.
You can bugger a Clay or a Rubbery Man,
As for buggering devils, you probably can,
You can do an L.B., though they're terribly small,
But the Starveling Cat can't be buggered at all.
You can bugger a tiger, if your name's Millicent,
You can bugger ol' Penstock to save on the rent,
For an orgy, just come to Ambassador's Ball,
Yet the Starveling Cat can't be buggered at all.
Urchins say, if you try, you can bugger the sky
Or a false-star as it sails so gracefully by,
You can bugger Bazaar until Sixth City's Fall -
But the Starveling Cat can't be buggered at all!